There Is No Such Thing As The Friend Zone

According to Urban Dictionary, the Friend Zone is “what you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend”. Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another.” This was the most concrete definition I could find, so I suppose it will suffice.

First of all, what is described here is unrequited love, essentially. It is the classic scenario in which boy likes girl, but girl doesn’t really like boy in the same way, or vice versa. Either way, someone is loving someone who doesn’t necessarily love them back, at least not in the way they want to be loved. In my personal life, I have heard many guys use this term when a girl only wants to be friends with them. It seems to be more comfortable and tolerable for them to say, “I’ve just been friend zoned,” than to except the fact that a girl could maybe just want a platonic relationship and that there will be no sex in their future. While I can understand this “coping method”, this particular way of dealing with a kind of rejection, this turns the woman (or man), the uninterested partner, into the insensitive monster. However, this does not make women cruel, hardhearted beings for wanting a platonic, male friend. Instead, it proves that there are some men (and women) out there that need to work on being less egotistical and more observant and understanding. Not all people of the opposite sex are going to find you attractive, and even if they do, that doesn’t mean they’re going to want to sleep with you and/or have a romantic relationship with you. From what I have observed in movies and in real life, straight males seem to use the “Friend Zone” excuse the most and much more often than a slang word should be permitted.

Just Because You Regret It, Doesn’t Mean It Was Rape

Rape is a very serious issue and crime. To think that there are people (men) out there taking it lightly is very disturbing. Women know the difference between regretting a sexual encounter and rape. Thanks for giving us so much credit. I mean how could we possibly distinguish between two entirely different situations? If men are fed up with women talking about rape, then maybe they should stop the act of raping, itself. I am by no means claiming that every man out there has or will rape someone. There are so many good men in the world, or at least men who wouldn’t dare to rape anyone. My point is, that it is not very often (at all) that you hear of a female rapist. It, primarily, just doesn’t happen. I’m sure there are a few cases, (*cough* Pedophiles *cough*) but not enough to be compared to the number of male rapists and increasing amount of rapes.

Women are not the only victims of rape. Both men and children are at risk. This seems fairly obvious, but quite a few people overlook this. Rape and/or sexual assault are not just women’s issues, they are men’s issues too. Somehow, society molds and shapes men into beings that feel the need to act violently and aggressively to the point where they are craving power and sex and the need to assert their dominance. Rape would seem like a good solution to fill this need. However, this is a highly irrational way of thinking. Abusing someone is not going to fix your problems, it is only going to create a bigger mess.

The men who are responsible for this “campaign” are not only insulting a woman’s intelligence, but also attempting to supply an excuse for their own reckless sexual behavior. Look guys, you can have as much sex as you want as long as she is aware of that and willing. If you’re not willing to pay the consequences for your actions, then maybe you’re not mature enough to be engaging in any sexual activity at all.

On Feminism

I am a feminist in the truest form. I am relatively independent, and I fully support equality between men and women. Yes, I said equality. Despite the fact that women are superior to men in the sense that they can hold a full-time job, raise kids, clean the house, and cook for their families, I don’t necessarily think it’s right to act in such a way(all the time). I came across a blog post a little while ago in which a self-proclaimed feminist thought it was insulting for a man to hold a door open for her. She was offended because she thought that she was thoroughly capable of holding the door open for herself. This blew my mind. Men do not have to hold the door open for women. They do it out of respect, not to assume their “dominant position” of male authority. Women are perfectly capable of  doing this for themselves, but that is besides the point. This was just one among many other things she was upset about.

I honestly believe so many “feminists” are missing the point. Men are nice to other men, men are nice to women, women are nice to other women, and even sometimes women are nice to men. That’s all it is. People like to be nice to each other sometimes, even if they don’t know each other. We live in such a socially deficient world, you’d think having a man hold the door open for you would be a refreshing surprise. If you think such a simple act is another way to make women feel inferior, then you have already proven yourself to be inferior all on your own.

I’m a feminist, though, right?

Sleeping with a bunch of men and dating with a “men’s mentality” doesn’t make you a feminist. Always acting offended when someone of the opposite sex tries to help you is not being a feminist. Degrading other women for choosing to take their husband’s last names and for choosing to live the domestic lifestyle is not being a feminist. It just makes you a jerk. Sorry. Haven’t you ever heard of being the better example?

The whole point of feminism is to rise above and join the pursuit of equality. However, that does not require you to parade around NYC with your top off and your boobs swaying in the wind. How is that having respect for your body? We live in a world in which breasts are over sexualised. I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is. And besides, that doesn’t help the cause. Men do not take you seriously that way. And isn’t the point to be taken seriously? We’ve been beating  this around the bush for so long now. Everyone talks about feminism and equality, but nothing actually happens. I’m sure everyone has heard about women being allowed to hold authoritative positions in the military. While that is a great step in the right direction, women are still being raped and molested in the military. In this country. They actually have to fear sexual violation while they are serving their country. That is not okay. Rape is not okay. So while you’re going about your “feminist”ways, worrying about all the evil men, who try to do favors for you, just know that there are women out their who are actually being violated and stripped of their rights to feel safe and secure.

Film Review: Savages

 

Savages, a movie recently released this month, is a little movie about a great abundance of cannabis. Two friends, Ben and Chon, share both a girlfriend and a pot business. Ophelia, the beloved girlfriend, is convinced she is equally in love with both men, and they equally love her. While being caught up in this love triangle, Ben and Chon start to face the harsh realities of illegal business. They soon find themselves in an irreversible situation when a Mexican drug cartel kidnaps their girlfriend, holding her hostage until the deal is done.

Ben(Aaron Johnson) is the sensitive, earth loving pacifist, while Chon(Taylor Kitsch) is the aggressive, war veteran. Ophelia, or O(Blake Lively) plays the poor little rich girl, who strayed away from her parents.

Though the overall acting was definitely not the best, the plot was considerably good, right up until the ending, anyway. Everything fell into its proper place, it just lacked a certain spark. Salma Hayek, who played the merciless Elena, gave an outstanding performance. She captured all the essentials the villain should have. Because of this, her character is by far the most interesting and developed.