This is not how it ends

It starts with a tear
a gut-wrenching heartbroken sob
that forces my whole body to tremor
sweating with anxiety and pitiless emotions
which sends me head first into what
my therapist calls a “spiral of doom”

Degradation and self-deprecation
consume my being
and I can only think of how
lonely I feel or how
I’m not being loved or
fucked (in the more pleasurable sense)
or how the only person who ever
cared for me threw my love
away

But perhaps that’s why it hurts
to know my efforts will
always be greater
my love will always be fuller
than anything anyone can
offer me

Seed of Hate

I have seen the likes of men like you, who walk here on the shore

I have seen the way you fan yourselves as you dance from door to door

And in spite of all the hate I muster in my heart so small

There is nothing I would rather do than crush the seed of all

 

I have seen the hearts you stomp on as you hold you heads up high

I have seen the flags you wave around as they billow in the night

And no matter how the anger flows inside me, I stand tall

There is nothing I would rather do than crush the seed of all

 

I have seen the captured souls of men who lay there still this night

I have seen the fellows bleed there in the cold and quiet light

And regardless of their injuries, I have done no wrong at all

There is nothing I would rather do than crush the seed of all

 

Another Stomach Ache

There is a disease that has consumed me
A disease some might call love
Others, infatuation
Yet this foolishness
This gambling of emotions
Is only ever temporary
Soul mate is a rather nonsensical term
And all you ever did for me
Was make my stomach ache

This is not about you

This is not about you.
This is not about about all those times you made me feel worthless and pathetic or how you spat my own name in my face like a curse.
This is not about how your betrayal ripped a giant gaping hole in my heart that I have not yet even begun to patch up. I can only keep ripping off the bandaid to remind myself of what it feels like to hurt.
And this is not about how your name will forever feel like acid on my tongue, burning the back of my throat as I try to smother the urge to scream it out into the night.

This is not about you.
This is about me.
This is about all the hurt and torment I have endured as I passively watched you set me on fire. This is about my struggle to love myself to fill the hole that you made, as you left me to fend for myself like a lonely and wounded animal.
This about how I will rise high above the flames and spread my hatred like wildfire, so that maybe one day, it might reach you.
This is about how I hope neither heaven nor hell will take you, for you would surely be a disappointment to both.

So, no. This is not about you.
This is about me,
like it always has been.

Don’t Be That Girl

This is going to be my first exposé on this blog. I feel so compelled to write this because of the many blog posts I have encountered that have been solely about the Men’s Rights Movement and the feminists they feel determined to hate and destroy. There is a blog called Don’t Be That Girl(http://dontbethatbitch.wordpress.com/), whose author seems to be unidentifiable.  On the about page is a list of characteristics of a “Mature Woman” and a “Feminist”. You can imagine these characteristics differ greatly between the two categories. When I first came across the site, I was absolutely appalled. What kind of people dedicate themselves to hatred? The owner or owners of the blog literally hate any woman who considers herself a feminist or who even remotely acts like one. In other words, a woman who doesn’t tolerate catcalling and other bullshit that some men try to pass off as complements. However, it doesn’t even remotely end there. They claim that feminist women are out to kill men and destroy their families, and that women initiate the “Friend Zone” because they are financial and emotional rapists. I’ll admit, I have never ever heard of a financial rapist before, and I highly doubt its legitimacy. So you may read for yourselves the utter ridiculousness I am commenting on, here is a sample from the blog:

“A feminist is a human female:

  • Who though physically and sexually mature has yet to grow past the boys are icky phase of the pre adolescent female…
  • Who instead of taking responsibility for the consequences of her own  actions and choices blames both the male gender as well as the males in her life for her own failings…
  • Who as both a conniving, manipulative and predatory individual and group seeks to both diminish the legal rights as well as to steal the financial resources of the male gender through legislation, child support and taxation…
  • Who intentionally disguises their sinister goals beneath the camouflage of the equal rights movement…
  • Who uses the family court system and the Political Arena to both rape her male partner of his home and children as well as to cripple and destroy him financially…
  • Who actively promotes the murder of the individual members of the male gender (the same way that the Black Widow spider kills her mate after engaging in the act of copulation) by running to the defense of those females who intentionally murder their male partners and children…”

I still can’t get over the fact that they compare feminists to spiders. Not only do I hate spiders, but the comparison is so radical and nonsensical that I refuse to spend any more time writing about it. So, here are some ACTUAL facts about feminists.

  • Feminists do not hate men
  • Plenty of men are feminists
  • Feminists support the equality of both men and women
  • Feminists do not have a hidden agenda to destroy the male population (Surprising, I know)
  • In the history of all of feminism, there was never a bra burning incident. The women simply brought an extra bra with them to place in a receptacle.
  • The bra was supposedly invented by a woman.

The only hate group I see here is the MRA.