A Letter To My Love

I love you.
I don’t know how else to phrase it.
Just the thought of you brings the biggest grin to my lips
I want you to be successful and happy and mentally stable and never have any significant worries or fears
I want you to have everything you have ever wanted even if what you want may seem unattainable at times
I want you to feel safe and loved and I want you to be able to trust, no matter how frightening and intimate it can be
But most of all, I want you to know that you are loved
Not just by me but by so many others
Because you matter
You are important
You are you
And that is more than enough.

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On Tom Corbett’s False Allegations

It was Friday that Tom Corbett, the Republican governor of Pennsylvania, compared gay marriage to incest in a television interview. His completely false allegations have very much shocked the progressive population. To say that he is ignorant would be a harsh understatement. He is not ignorant because he is fully aware of what he has said. He has compared same sex marriage to an exceedingly taboo practice that has not been legal in this county since the beginning of its independence. He has made gay marriage seem disgusting and wrong by juxtaposing with incest. It is quite obvious how he feels about gay marriage and homosexuality in general. Sorry, Pennsylvania. The wait will soon be over, but for now, hang in there.

 

Talk To Me

The Trevor Project has established “Talk To Me” in honor of National Suicide Prevention Month. The risk of suicide is much greater for those in the LGBTQ community, especially those between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four. Talk To Me is all about communication. I have taken the pledge and will be participating in the program. Feel free to email me any of your questions or concerns. If you are feeling suicidal, or if you just need someone to listen and care about you and your problems, I will be here. Please, do not hesitate. If you would like to participate in Talk To Me as someone willing to help, go to http://www.thetrevorproject.org  and take the pledge. Also, add the Talk To Me twibbon to your website, twitter, or Facebook account. Hopefully, we can all make a difference.

“Talk to Me is about empowering our supporters to help us save young lives. You can play an important role in this movement to end youth suicide in the LGBTQ community. The Garrett Lee Smith Memorial Act is the only dedicated stream of federal funding for suicide prevention, and it must be reauthorized to ensure that vital services across the country continue to be funded. Please, ask your senators and representatives to cosponsor the Garrett Lee Smith Memorial Act (H.R. 2734/S.116) today!”

TAKE ACTION

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Exposing “Masculine” and “Feminine” Qualities

The definitions our society has attributed to masculinity and femininity widely contrast. In fact, they are the exact opposites. When we think of masculine we use words like dominant, strong, and independent. When we think of feminine we use words like submissive, frail, and dependent. While both women and men do contain a mixture of both of these qualities, for some reason it is only acceptable for men to be completely masculine and for women to be completely feminine. For this, we can blame society.

However, these words, these adjectives, are faulty. They shove men and women into tiny boxes, forcing them to “conform” to these ideals. One is to believe that a masculine man can take care of everything, provide for the family, and never cry, while a feminine woman is weak and must obey her husband or any other male authoritarians. Obviously, these are two extremes ranging from super human to helpless. But if we are to take these definitions so literally, as we generally do, we have to consider the extreme sides.

I have heard many people make the bold “statement” that masculine women are lesbians, and feminine men are gays. When such statements are made, at least to me, it is obvious that these reverse characteristics are meant to be taken as an insult and as an abnormality, which so happens to be considered wrong or disdainful. These claims may be made for various reasons, but the important part is that they are made at all. It appears to be a rather troublesome thing to be “different”, existing outside of societal ideas and/or normalities. It is not acceptable to set ourselves apart.

And although being feminine is an insult for men and women, women are at a disadvantage because masculinity is something they should never ever possess. If they adhere to their given roles as weak and submissive, they are inferior. (I mean, who wants to be told that they’re weak?) And if women are masculine, they are either lesbians (which is a bad thing apparently) or undesirable. Feminine men do appear to be at a certain disadvantage, but in the end, they are still men, men who own everything and rule the world.

To conclude, the terms masculine and feminine are absolutely ridiculous. We do not need to use these adjectives ever. They are insulting and absolutely useless. Humans are individuals. We are all inherently different and we all possess different qualities, regardless of sex or gender. We are unique. We have brains. We have entire thesauruses and dictionaries to provide us with more appropriate and accurate words to describe each and every individual we meet. There is no need to clump an entire gender into one “ideal” category. We’re better than that, or at least, I hope so.

*I decided to write this because of these comments that I have viewed recently:

[“Women aren’t supposed to be too strong. If women were strong, they’d be men (or lesbians).

What man in his right mind would want to have sex with another man? That’s gay. Therefore, women should be slightly submissive. It’s the essence of femininity.”

“A man wants to be with a woman who’s a woman – the type of feminine woman that is rapidly becoming extinct.”]

Well, boys, here’s a little tip:  If there is a vagina attached to her, there’s a good chance that she just might be woman.

Coming Out of the Feminist Closet

Someone very close to me is still unaware of my ever-present and ever-growing feminism. This person is my sister. I am hesitant to inform her about this part of my life because she tends to be judgmental and because of various things she has said in the past. About a year ago, her and her husband were talking and said something to this effect: “Feminists are butch lesbians who hate men.” At the time, my only reaction was to roll my eyes and feel somewhat shitty inside, but now I feel disgusted and slightly hurt that someone I love would make such an ignorant comment. Lesbians can be butch, lesbians can be feminists, and lesbians can be butch feminists, but they do not make up the entire demographic of feminists. Feminists consist of men, women, heteros, homos, bisexuals, transgenders, Christians, atheists, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, republicans, democrats, libertarians, independents, femmes, butches, you name it. So, obviously not all feminists are butch lesbians. This is because people have the ability to think for themselves and decide what they want to believe and agree with. Each and every human being is an individual, who can use his or her own judgment to determine who they are and what they want out of life.  My other new reaction to this ignorant comment is: Then what the hell am I? I am not a lesbian, or a butch lesbian, yet I’m a feminist. Oh, and I also don’t hate men. So it would seem that we now have a debacle on our hands since I am now the ultimate exception to the feminist rule. A predominantly straight, biological female, who doesn’t hate men can be a feminist? What? I know. I am astonished as well.

All sarcasm aside, the fact that her and so many other people think feminists are part of the “she-woman man-haters club” shows how seriously misinformed and ignorant the world is. Feminism is about achieving equality for both women and men because we are equals, regardless of our inherent, biological differences. Those differences are insignificant and matter not. The goal of the feminist movement is to rid the world of misogyny and misandry and to eliminate gender stereotypes and gender specific insults, so that one day a girl will not be given grief over her desire to join the school football team, and a guy will be allowed to cry and feel emotion in public without being called a girl, because, in reality, that is not an insult. In reality, we are all human. We were all created equally. Different doesn’t equate to less.

So, Sister, I am stepping out of the feminist closet to show you who I truly am. I do not expect you to agree with me on every issue. We both have very different beliefs politically, socially, religiously, academically, but in the end, none of those differences matter. I have looked up to you for so long. For so long, I wanted to be you, but now it is time for me to become my own person. I am who I am, and I am proud to be me. And I hope you are proud to be my sister. I love you, and I can’t wait to see you on Thursday.

Love,

Catherine

A Few Words On DOMA and California

I am so happy that the Defense of Marriage Act was finally repealed and that California is, once again, a state that recognizes gay marriage. This is going to greatly affect the many lives of gay men and women who currently populate California and for the  future generations who choose to inhabit the state. Although California is the 13th state to legalize gay marriage, we still have  37 states left. In light of recent events, I am now much more confident that we can achieve this goal. However, I fear that certain groups of people, the same people who are afraid of what same-sex marriage might do to the traditional institution of marriage, will gain even more power and support than they already have. Regardless, I will not let that deter me. I will march, I will fight, I will write until everyone gets the equal opportunity that they deserve.