Like November

You were dark
like a crisp November day
cold and beautiful and confident
touching me from the inside out
and oh how good it felt to have you in my head
to hear your voice call me baby
to hold your icy hands
knowing this could not last forever
but you were never meant to be permanent

First Degree

This emptiness
this agonizing ache
I cannot manage
to rid myself of
keeps it hand
firmly planted on
my shoulder
always there to
remind me of
every knife you twisted
deeper and deeper into
my spine
turning my mind
into a slab of paralyzed matter,
where it is cold and numb
and dead
and the worms have
already begun to make
their homes.
And I still cannot
fathom why I
needed to be stabbed
at all.

A Letter To My Love

I love you.
I don’t know how else to phrase it.
Just the thought of you brings the biggest grin to my lips
I want you to be successful and happy and mentally stable and never have any significant worries or fears
I want you to have everything you have ever wanted even if what you want may seem unattainable at times
I want you to feel safe and loved and I want you to be able to trust, no matter how frightening and intimate it can be
But most of all, I want you to know that you are loved
Not just by me but by so many others
Because you matter
You are important
You are you
And that is more than enough.

There Is No Such Thing As The Friend Zone

According to Urban Dictionary, the Friend Zone is “what you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend”. Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another.” This was the most concrete definition I could find, so I suppose it will suffice.

First of all, what is described here is unrequited love, essentially. It is the classic scenario in which boy likes girl, but girl doesn’t really like boy in the same way, or vice versa. Either way, someone is loving someone who doesn’t necessarily love them back, at least not in the way they want to be loved. In my personal life, I have heard many guys use this term when a girl only wants to be friends with them. It seems to be more comfortable and tolerable for them to say, “I’ve just been friend zoned,” than to except the fact that a girl could maybe just want a platonic relationship and that there will be no sex in their future. While I can understand this “coping method”, this particular way of dealing with a kind of rejection, this turns the woman (or man), the uninterested partner, into the insensitive monster. However, this does not make women cruel, hardhearted beings for wanting a platonic, male friend. Instead, it proves that there are some men (and women) out there that need to work on being less egotistical and more observant and understanding. Not all people of the opposite sex are going to find you attractive, and even if they do, that doesn’t mean they’re going to want to sleep with you and/or have a romantic relationship with you. From what I have observed in movies and in real life, straight males seem to use the “Friend Zone” excuse the most and much more often than a slang word should be permitted.